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Muskrat and QT(pi)’s Team Up, Somehow, to Stop Giant Teddy Ruxbin

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Muskrat file photo

By Buffy Bolivar

QUEENS, New York – In one of the strangest, and cutest, team-ups to date, Muskrat and the QTπ’s joined forces to stop a toy monster from rampaging through Queens today.

Muskrat, the clawed superhero who specializes in getting dirty, was in Brooklyn today for undisclosed reasons when he heard reports of a monster in Queens.  The QTπ’s, the pre-teen, all-girls superhero team, were at a Mets game in Citi Field when the monster landed on the field.  It was a giant Teddy Ruxbin that had gained sentience through the machinations of the QTπ’s archenemy, Count Von Badd and his son, Prince Von Badd.

The QTπ’s flew into action, pounding and zapping the giant Teddy Ruxbin with all their might, but the bear would not stop.  It stomped all over the field, sending players and fans running, all the while asking if the girl superheroes wanted to be his friend.  The QTπ’s reportedly declined.

Muskrat flew in a helicopter to the scene and dove onto the head of Teddy Ruxbin.  He slashed through the hide of Teddy to get at the circuitry inside, but the bear spun its head in circles, sending him flying.  Punch Girl caught him mid-air despite the fact Muskrat is four-times her size.  This was when he realized the QTπ’s were on the scene and that he was fighting Teddy Ruxbin.

The girl superheroes became giddy at the sight of a Peace Force member teaming up with them, according to eye witnesses, and Muskrat didn’t know how to respond.  Spotting an opening, Teddy Ruxbin tried to stomp on them while also trying to tell them a fairy tale.  For the next several minutes, the QTπ’s and Muskrat concentrated on clearing the park of civilians while keeping the giant robotic bear from leaving.

Punch Girl and Muskrat flew around to the back of Teddy Ruxbin while Bomb Girl, Mad Madison, and Flower Power Girl kept its eyes on them.  Muskrat cut into the paneling on Teddy’s back, and Punch Girl ripped it off.  Inside was a giant cassette tape that appeared to be controlling the robot.  Not knowing what it was, Punch Girl punched it into pieces, and the Teddy Ruxbin shut down.

A monitor behind the cassette tape showed Count and Prince Von Badd laughing maniacally and cursing the QTπ’s for ruining their plans, somehow alternating between those two verbalizations, and Punch Girl punched that, too.  No one knows what the Von Badd’s plans ultimately were.

The QTπ’s were able to gather all the pieces of the Teddy Ruxbin and fly it to an NYPD evidence shelter for further investigation.  They also managed to rebuild the destroyed parts of Citi Field, though the groundskeepers will need to resod part of the grass.

And of course, the QTπ’s got selfies with an uncomfortable Muskrat, all at once.

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