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Dinosaur Queen’s Army Patrolling Streets

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By Chase Chapley

BREAKING NEWS:  The Dinosaur Queen’s army is now patrolling the streets in Downtown New Romford.

I witnessed them march down 20th St near City Hall.  They were wearing the distinctive armor and emblem of the Dinosaur Queen, and they were marching in unison.  There were at least three unique regimens:  the small raptors that ran down the sidewalks, carrying spears, the larger T-Rexes, and the enormous brachiosauruses, which trotted down the middle of the street.  They did not interact with anyone apart from the raptors moving people out of the way.

This was clearly a display of power by the Dinosaur Queen.  The parade lasted for twenty minutes with hundreds of army dinosaurs walking down the street.  A few blocks down, I could see the army split into two directions, along 4th Ave.  Another ten minutes later, I saw some of the army dinosaurs had circled behind me, moving up 19th St, and then I saw the other line swing up 22nd or 23rd St.  They were leaving a few army dinosaurs at each intersection, essentially establishing a perimeter around City Hall and the Courthouse.  I can only imagine the same happened around Grainger Tower.  One can only wonder why the Dinosaur Queen needs City Hall and the Courthouse, but it is already turning ugly.

Some NRPD officers confronted some of the army a block behind me.  They were attacked by the T-Rexes and raptors while the brachiosaurus just watched.  The officer was able to break free (he was a dinosaur slightly smaller than the T-Rex, but I don’t know what kind he was), but then the brachiosaur swung it’s gigantic tail, which had been fitted with what looks like a cannonball at the end, and flung the officer 100 feet into the air, landing on the street.

I could hear some further rumblings a few blocks away from me, but I couldn’t see it.  I can only assume it was more of the same.  For now, it would be best to not engage the army if possible.  They are better equipped and more adept at fighting as dinosaurs than we are.  Please do not engage.

I’ll continue to write as long as I can.  Stay safe.