The New Romford Free Press

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Dino-Ray: 10-Mile Radius

By Chase Chapley

The Dino-Ray used to turn every human into a dinosaur apparently has about a 10-mile radius.  Assuming that’s accurate, everyone outside the I-299 beltway should be safe.

I’m hearing this from locals living on the outskirts of New Romford who have traveled past a certain distance away from Downtown.  Once they pass a certain threshold, they’ve reverted back to their human form, albeit naked now.  One resident was flying west (as a Pterodactyl) when he reached this threshold, and then he plummeted to the ground.  He may’ve suffered a few broken bones but seems to be okay from what I’ve been told.

I’m only hearing this through secondhand accounts (texts and phone calls).  Communications are still sketchy, and I’m constantly on the move, pausing only to blog and to get a quick bite to eat, which I’ll talk about later.  A couple of my colleagues are gathering information right now, and hopefully then I’ll have some firsthand accounts (preferably pictures or videos).

But it does seem that we can exit the sphere of the Dino-Ray and become human again.  It’s likely the Dinosaur Queen knows this, and knows that we know this, so I’d recommend heading outside of the sphere a.s.a.p.  The center seems to be Grainger Tower.  We might not have this chance for very long.